Part 1 Son of a Savior
by r2roswell
Summary: AU. Neal learns that Emma is pregnant and decides to adopt and raise Henry. (story idea credit in author's note). Part 2-"Till Kingdom Come"
1. Promise Un-Kept

**Author's Note:** I want to thank _familyofthieves_ over at tumblr for allowing me permission to write this story. That person made an amazing AU pic set that I fell in love with and I thought how could it not be turned into a story? So major credit goes out to _familyofthieves_. I hope I can do your set justice in the written form. :)

* * *

**Chapter 1: Promise Un-kept **

* * *

Neal watched as August walked away. He took a deep breath and sighed. Though he had just promised August that he would steer clear of Emma so that she could do what she was meant to his promise had been a load of crap.

For the past two months he had tried to lose himself, tried to forget but he couldn't not when he still had the watches and the car in his possession. He didn't have either of those now. He had given them to August so that he could give to Emma. It was his way of being there with her but also as his own way of letting go.

Letting go had never been an option though not really. He may not have returned to Emma but that didn't mean he didn't love her any less. He had chosen her over them. He loved her enough to complete his destiny without him. Neal would wait as long as it took. August had at least promised to send a postcard when her job was done now whether that was a year from now or ten, Neal didn't care.

He would stay out of her life directly but indirectly was something he just couldn't do. He had to know, he had to make sure that she was okay even if she wasn't. He owed her that much.

Taking another breath Neal made his way south. He had to get back to the states. Though Neal had no money, no prospects, none of that mattered. He would find a way, he always did and he would find his way to Emma.


	2. Phoenix

**Chapter 2: Phoenix**

* * *

It had been three weeks but he finally made it. Neal sat on the passenger side of an old rusted white pickup truck. The driver, Dick McRae was slightly older than Neal with patches of white hair.

"So what's a guy like you want to go to Phoenix for this time of year," said the driver.

"Change of venue," Neal said to Dick not really feeling all that much for small talk.

The two had been silent for most of the way, nearly seventy miles at least. The last three though Dick had became chatty.

"Guess we all need that sometimes," said Dick.

"I guess."

"You running from something or toward something?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Just trying to get a feel for ya man that's all. I could've left you back there you know."

"Then why did you pick me up?"

Dick shrugged, "I was in the same place not too long ago. Some older fellow stopped and gave me a lift. Son of a bitch ended up changing my life for the better. I know they always say never get in cars with strangers and all that crap but they're not all bad."

Neal nodded and decided to answer the guys question since he was being straight with him.

"I'm running toward something, sort of. It's complicated."

"Ah a woman, say no more I get it."

"I didn't say-,"

"You didn't have to man when you use the word 'complicated' it means one of two things either life's a bitch or there's a chick involved, sometimes it's both."

Dick pulled his truck into a parking lot. He looked at the building and was hesitant.

"You sure this is where you want me to drop you off?"

"Yeah I'm sure," Neal said grabbing his bag from the back seat.

He had done his research. There was only one federal prison in Arizona, the only minimum security prison so this had to be it unless August had lied to him; if he had then he was really screwed.

* * *

Neal made his way to the entrance lobby. Inside there were a few offices to the right, a guard desk to the left and in front were some metal detectors which gave way to some metal doors.

Loretta looked up from her files as she saw Neal. He wasn't exactly in the best shape, not having shaven for a few days.

"Can I help you?" Loretta asked.

Neal walked over to her and placed a hand on the outside part of the counter.

"Maybe, I'm looking for someone, I was told she'd be here."

"Come back later, visiting hours are in an hour."

"No I'm not here to visit. I just want to make sure she's here."

"I can't release that information unless it's to family."

Neal sighed, "I'm her husband," he said hesitantly.

Loretta looked up at Neal. He could tell she wasn't buying it.

"I have the papers to prove it," said Neal reaching into his back pocket.

"That won't be necessary," she said to him, "Name of the person?"

"Swan," said Neal. "Emma Swan."

Loretta looked over her listing.

"She's here."

"Thanks that's all I needed to know."

"You want to leave a message, a name or something?"

"No, she doesn't need to know I was here."

Loretta wanted to speak out and ask Neal if he wanted to know about his child but she held back knowing it wasn't her place to say anything.

* * *

Neal walked outside and looked up. The heat from the sun was burning. He closed his eyes satisfied that he had found her. He wasn't sure how long he would be in Phoenix, maybe eleven months maybe more.

Though August had claimed to be Emma's guardian angel, Neal knew in his heart that the job had just been transferred. He would look out for her in his own way while not interfering with her life or her destiny. He would keep his distance for now. Knowing she was here was enough for him for the time being. He would wait until August sent the postcard, however long that may be.

Neal didn't have a plan exactly except that it would involve staying in Phoenix. He would do what he and Emma had said, he would give up the Bonnie and Clyde act and settle down, get a job, anything he could do to prove to Emma some day that he could change, he could better himself. Not that Emma had ever asked him for that. She had loved him unconditionally with no strings. It didn't matter to her if they lived in a car or a hotel. She didn't care that he couldn't give her more than just the promise of one more day together. The love she had for him was real and that had always been enough.

It wasn't enough now though and so he had to do better, he could do better and he would.


	3. Confusing Contemplations

**Chapter 3: Confusing Contemplations**

* * *

_[3 weeks ago, give or take]_

"Good news, you get a car when you get out, and a baby, congratulations," said Loretta.

The words continued to echo in Emma's mind as she was left alone in her cell. She looked down on the pee stick. Emma hated that her guard had congratulated her. Why would there be cause for such a word because she suddenly found herself with life inside her? If her situation had been different then sure congratulations would have been okay but the word was meaningless.

Emma felt numb to everything. There was no hatred, no despise, no anger. Her feelings were as bare as the gray wall in the room. Nothing. Nothing but a blue positive on the stick that indicated one thing.

Pregnant.

Emma could feel her heart begin to race. When one second there was nothing now there was everything. Emma thought back to the moment it was created. She and Neal had waited for a family to leave a hotel room and they had taken it for ten minutes.

Growing up Emma had heard the fairytales, had heard about true love but never believed in any of it until she met Neal. It wasn't exactly love at first sight when they met but it was something and in a short time Emma had considered the possibility that maybe true love did exist.

Their life had been planned out by chance, Emma pointing to a spot on a map to indicate their new home. At seventeen she had been more than ready to settle down and start a life with the man she loved.

She hadn't expected to start a life, and an actual one at that; not like this. Had Neal not done what he did then maybe she could've considered the possibility of being a mom. At least she wouldn't have to go through it alone, they could do it together.

Emma again looked down at the pregnancy test and at her abdomen. She hated the life inside her. It was a reminder of all that she had lost: her boyfriend, her future, her freedom. And she hated Neal. He had left a piece of himself within her. It had happened once but sometimes that's all it took.

The car she could deal with, at least she wouldn't have to see those things for a while but this? To be reminded of the pain he had caused her for the next nine months seemed like a nightmare. Legally Emma still had eight weeks to decide if she wanted to keep it or not, having just found out about her pregnancy in her second month.

The thought of being pregnant hadn't occurred to her until the nurse in the infirmary had plainly given her a test after her second missed period. Emma had gone through several missed periods since puberty and despite the reasons for them she considered them a natural part of her life since it wasn't the most normal or the most stable.

It wasn't like that at all as she came to find. The blue positive staring at her as if to remind her that yes it's true.

Emma's hatred was not only on the thing inside her or on Neal. She carried some of the blame too. At the time making love to Neal had been the best thing to happen to her next to actually being in love. She had fooled around with other guys before but she had never let herself go all the way like she did with Neal. In a lot of ways he was her first: first serious relationship, first love, first person to have genuine sex with. She had trusted him more than she had ever trusted anyone in her pathetic life. She hated herself for all of it. She hated that she had agreed not to use a condom that afternoon. That's how deep her trust ran and now she was paying the price for it.

Emma couldn't take the blue positive staring at her, mocking her. She threw it across her cell. Her eyes began to blur as tears flowed but she made no noise.

Eight weeks was all she had left to decide and even that did not seem like enough time. After that her fate would be decided for her if she couldn't make the decision herself.


	4. A Heartbeat

**Chapter 4: A Heartbeat**

* * *

Emma had her arms crossed over the small bulge as she sat up on the table in the infirmary. She hated these once a month checkups. She was now in her twentieth week. From what the doctor had told her after another eight weeks she would have a doctor's visit every two weeks.

She hated a lot these days, she hated the fact that she was starting to show all ready. It bugged her. She wanted to do her time and have that be the end of it. She didn't want to have some kind of neon sign that said 'look at me I'm pregnant and in jail' which is what her bulge was starting to seem like.

Emma sighed and she knew her hate was unreasonable. She thought back to when she had decided to keep her baby. Though she had eight weeks from the time she found out till eight weeks later, by the second week Emma had made the decision not to have the child aborted.

It wasn't the child's fault that any of this had happened. It hadn't been asked to be brought into the world. It was just a child of unfortunate circumstance or it would have been a child of fortunate circumstance had she not gotten caught in the first place.

* * *

"You're awfully quiet," said Dr. Karina Mendez.

And Emma remained so.

"Okay I'm going to put the gel on now," she said motioning to Emma's arms.

Emma placed her arms to the side as Dr. Mendez lifted up Emma's shirt revealing her bare skin and the small bump near the center. Though the denial was gone Emma couldn't bring herself to look at her stomach, her head turned to the side so that she wasn't facing the ultrasound machine, the anger and hatred still there on occasion especially on days like today when her doctor's visits only added to the reminder that she was pregnant.

Dr. Mendez moved the device over the spread of the gel and turned on the ultrasound. She waited and moved the device again until she found what she was looking for, the thrumming tiny heart beat safety tucked away inside Emma's uterus.

"That's your baby," Dr. Mendez said in response to the sound. "Do you want to know the baby's sex?"

Again more silence. Dr. Mendez turned off the machine and cleaned Emma's stomach with a towel. Emma then placed her shirt back down careful not to touch her child's resting place.

"Miss Swan, I know this is difficult for you believe me. I have seen many women come through here, some even younger than yourself but you chose to keep this baby. You can get through this. I'm going to talk to some people, see if I can get you a counselor."

This time Emma turned to face Dr. Mendez. "I'm not crazy."

"I never said you were. I just think it might be best if you talked to someone. For the next six months you're in charge of this life. We can help and provide you with what you need but the baby's home is inside you so you have to do what you can to make sure it stays healthy. And you may be in charge of its life for the next eighteen years if that's what you decide but for now you are responsible. No one else can do this for you."

"And if I don't talk to the shrink?"

"What goes on in session does remain confidential just like it would on the outside but as your current physician it's what I'm recommending. It might help to deal with this. You're not the first to go through this or the first to be recommended to counseling and you certainly won't be the last. I just think it might help."

Dr. Mendez smiled, "You can stand up now," she said to Emma as she nodded toward the doorway where Loretta was waiting to take Emma back to her cell.

"I'll see you in two weeks," the doctor said to her.

"Yeah," Emma replied as she made her way to the door.

* * *

**Author's Note:** _For Emma's time in prison I have decided to use the same set up that I had in chapter 7 of my Emma fanfic, 'Dear Santa'_.


	5. Trying to Deal

**Chapter 5: Trying to Deal**

* * *

_[1 week later]_

"So what can you tell me about the new guy you hired," Jim Barry, the guy who owned the construction company asked his employee.

"Not much," said Aaron Quip as he looked over Neal's file. "He's gotten into some trouble but nothing major, petty thieving mostly."

"Serious thieving," Jim asked.

"No. There was an incident a while back about him stealing some watches from a jeweler he once worked at. They issued a warrant out for his arrest."

"Great so we have a guy who can steal expensive stuff from us."

Aaron laughed, "Like what, it's not like we keep the million dollars worth of jewels on site."

"Don't be a smart ass. Please tell me he actually paid for that crime."

"Afraid not, someone else took the fall for him."

"Who?"

"From what I was able to track down, an old girlfriend," said Aaron. Jim looked at Aaron in shock. "Trust me I had the same look," he said to his boss.

"Damn, girl must really love him for that one."

"Maybe."

"And Cassidy why hire him?"

Aaron shrugged. "He's not the first blue collar criminal we've had working for us. We never hire alcoholics or drug addicts."

"And you think that makes me feel better?" asked Jim.

"You were the one who implemented this system remember boss? You said that some of these people deserve a second chance at life. Cassidy seemed like the kind of guy who needed a break. Poor bastard has been through a lot. He's not a bad guy he just got mixed up in some stuff. He has no family other than maybe that girl of his. He's just a guy trying to get his life together to better himself. You can understand that can't you Jim?"

Jim looked at Aaron for a moment. "Damn son of a bitch, I hate when you ask me that about each new employee." Jim stuck a finger at him. "You're lucky I have a soft side for these urchins. Just have one of-,"

"My trust worthy guys keep an eye on him temporarily, I know you tell me that every time and have I ever screwed you over?"

"Not yet but there's always one."

"Then when it is it won't be Cassidy trust me on that."

Jim studied Aaron, he couldn't pin point it but there was something else and so he simply asked. "Just what is it with you defending Cassidy so much? You're never like this with the others."

Aaron stood up from his desk and looked at Neal's profile picture in his file. "Just think he deserves a shot that's all. Not all of us are lucky enough to get that. I owe it to him."

Jim looked at Aaron again but decided to leave it at that.

* * *

Emma Swan sat with her arms crossed in the counseling office. Unlike the many other facilities here this room wasn't a drab shade of white or gray. There were a mixture of light blues and yellows.

"If it makes you more comfortable," said Dr. Erica Mitchell, "We could always try a group session."

Emma looked at the doctor wanting to be any place else but here. "I don't do well with groups."

"Do you do well on your own?"

Emma shrugged. What did it matter, what did any of it matter?

"You've seen my file, you tell me," said Emma.

"I have seen your file but Emma they're just words on pieces of paper. They don't tell me anything about you. They don't tell me who you are. Your likes, your dislikes. They give the facts but not detail. Who are you Emma?"

Emma couldn't hold back a small laugh. In seventeen years how many time had she asked herself that question? Over time she had come to stop asking it, simply trying to live without wondering too much but then there would be moments when she found herself really alone that the question would enter her mind and it would lead to a whole series of questions and it would lead her on a quest, however temporarily, to search for those who had sent her away.

"Emma,' Dr. Mitchell said again, "Who are you?"

"I wish I knew," Emma replied.

"You have to know something."

Emma looked at Dr. Mitchell with a hard look, "What the hell do you want from me? You want the whole life story, fine here's the cliff notes version. How can a kid know who they are when they don't even know who the hell their parents are? I was found on the side of a freeway. I was placed in foster care, had a family for three years until they sent me back. When I was fourteen I started looking for my parents but after two years of asking around I stopped. How's that answer for your question?"

Dr. Mitchell smiled, "It's a nice start. Is that what scares you about being pregnant?"

Emma looked at Dr. Mitchell.

* * *

"Hey Cassidy," Aaron said as he walked over to Neal.

Neal was digging with a shovel in a pile of dirt. An hour ago he had been helping some guys with the cement truck before he was ordered off to help with some digs.

"You firing me all ready," Neal asked.

Aaron laughed, "Funny, no. I just thought I'd come give you the news that you've been officially hired by the higher ups."

Neal took off his hard hat and wiped the sweat from his forehead with a bandana that was placed in his back pocket.

"What kind of strings did you have to pull to make that happen?"

"Just reminded the boss of what kind of men he wanted in the first place. Even us screw ups need a chance every once in a while don't we?"

"Say's the guy who got the biggest hand out of them all."

Aaron smiled. "You got time for a break?"

"Yeah I got time. This dirt will still be here when I get back."

"Great," said Aaron.

Neal forced his shovel in the ground making sure it would stay as he followed Aaron to his office trailer.


	6. Trying to Deal (Part 2)

**Chapter 6: Trying to Deal (Part 2)**

* * *

"What makes you think I'm scared?" Emma asked Dr. Mitchell.

"Observation really. Emma you've been numb ever since you found out. It's as if you don't want to acknowledge what's happening to your body despite the fact that you chose not to have an abortion."

"Is that what the doctor and the guards tell you?"

"Some of it but in the short time you've been here I've noticed you're very cautious about how you fold your arms or how you keep them to the side. You're afraid to touch yourself. What's holding you back?"

Emma looked up. She could feel her eyes getting wet. She didn't need this, she didn't want it."

"It's okay to talk to me Emma. You can open up in here."

"I don't open up to anyone."

"There must be someone you've opened up to? A person can't go alone in this world no matter how hard they try."

Emma stood up and walked to the window in the office. The sun was bright out as it always was here, blinding even. There wasn't much to see really. Though her corrections facility was located in Phoenix it was somewhat on the outskirts in the desert area. She crossed her arms over her bulge still very cautious and feeling uncomfortable about placing her arms there but having them at the side didn't feel right.

"There was once," Emma said to Dr. Mitchell.

"What happened?"

Emma sighed. She hated having her head examined by the corrections shrink but then logic set in. The quicker she talked the fewer sessions she would possibly have; at least that reasoning made the most sense.

"He got me sent here," Emma said with distain.

"So you're scared to be pregnant not just because of your own family but because of someone you loved?"

Emma turned to Dr. Mitchell. "Why are you doing this because it's your job? You can shrink heads anywhere, why here?"

This time it was Dr. Mitchell's turn to take a breath and sigh. "My mother was incarcerated when I was younger, similar reason to yours, blue collar misdemeanors. The counselors there didn't really care. To them it was just a job. I made a promise to her on one of my visits that I would become a psychologist to help people like her; that I would actually care about my patients. I wanted to show them that despite what society said, that they still matter and that they should be given a second chance at life. Not everyone has to repeat their same mistakes. Some people come in and out of here and they better themselves, they go on, start their lives over, start families. What I do isn't just a job to me. I care about the people I help."

Emma continued to look at Dr. Mitchell. She could see that the woman in front of her wasn't lying. She was telling the truth. There were no flaws; nothing to detect that Dr. Mitchell was just saying all of those things just so that she would open up to her, nothing to detect that she was making up lies just to get her to trust her.

"I believe you," Emma said silently.

Dr. Mitchell smiled and asked again. "What is it that scares you Emma?"

* * *

"So what's it been," Aaron asked giving Neal a coke as the two sat in his office over drinks and a couple of sub sandwiches, "Four years."

"Five actually," said Neal.

"Wow. And whose fault is that? You don't call, you don't email, text. If you hadn't come back I would've sworn you got transported to another world or something," Aaron joked.

Neal didn't take it that way though. He had always disliked when Aaron made those kinds of jokes.

"Seriously little brother, what brings you back to Arizona anyways?"

Neal shrugged. "No place like home I guess."

"Yeah right, you've been dying to get out of here since you were old enough. What changed?"

"I'm not the same guy who left here five years ago."

"Yeah I got that. The stealing Neal, really? You know mom would be pissed if she were still alive, right?"

"Then it's a good thing she was never really my mom then is it? I was just some charity case that she and your dad took in."

"Aw come on Neal don't start up with that crap again. You were never a charity case. Regardless of what you think she did love you."

"Sure she did."

"If she didn't would she have kept you around?" Neal said nothing. "Alright getting back to the real question: what are you really doing here? I haven't heard from you in five years and then you just show up as if nothing. What's up with that?"

"Like I said its home."

"No it's not. This has something to do with a girl doesn't it?"

"Why do you care Quip?"

"I care because regardless of what you may say about mom I'm still your brother and believe it or not I do know what love looks like. Hell I've been in love with the same girl since high school. I married her for Christ sake. So where is this mystery girl of yours?"

Neal stood up suddenly losing his appetite. "In prison," Neal admitted.

"Shit, don't tell me this is the same girl that took the fall for you for those stolen watches?" Aaron asked standing up. "Damn it Neal, how could you do something so stupid?"

Neal turned to look at his brother. "It's not like that! I didn't have a choice."

"What the hell, what do you mean you didn't have a choice? A girl you supposedly love is doing time that should be yours."

"She is but it was the only way."

"Only way for what?"

"I can't get into the specifics. I just had to do right by her."

"And you call putting her in prison doing right by her?"

"It's complicated all right. I had a good reason. With me in her life I would've just held her back. There's a greater purpose for her and it's not with me."

"What the hell is all that supposed to mean?"

Neal shook his head. "Nothing," Neal said giving up on the conversation. "Look I'm just sticking around to make sure she's okay. I appreciate you getting me the job but she's the only reason I'm here."

"She's in jail Neal, I doubt she'll ever be okay and you know what's worse, this girl you supposedly love is going to end up hating you. You can make excuses and say that you had a good reason for what you did but it's not going to change the fact that you put her there in the first place."

Neal sighed. "I have to get back to work."

* * *

Emma sighed and continued to look out the window. "A lot of things," Emma admitted answering Dr. Mitchell's question.

"Like what?"

"I was raised without a mother. I wouldn't even know how to be one," Emma said. "At the same time I'm angry at her. I'm angry at this stranger that I don't even know. How does a mother decide to give up her own child? What reason is there? And I know there are a lot of them out there. Growing up in the system it wasn't hard to find out why other parents gave up their kids but it's like my own don't even exist. No one has found them. Can a person be that lost that there's no record of them at all?"

"Maybe they just don't want to be found."

"Maybe or maybe I'm just not looking hard enough."

"You said there were a lot of things that scare you about your own pregnancy. Why can't you acknowledge that? Why are you so numb to it?"

"I'm not just angry at my mother, I'm angry at myself and at my ex-boyfriend."

"The baby's father," Dr. Mitchell asked.

"Yeah," Emma said lowering her head in defeat. "This wasn't how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to be getting our lives together, moving to Florida, being happy. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. I'm angry at myself for trusting him and I'm angry at him for leaving a piece of himself inside me. It's a constant reminder of how damaged he left me."

"Is that how you see yourself, as damaged?" Emma nodded. "You want to know what I see? I see a young girl who still has a lot to learn in life, a young girl who messed up but isn't that far broken to be redeemed. You can have that life you wanted Emma. You're stronger than you know I think. You just have to believe that."

"I don't believe much in anything."

"Maybe not now but someday you will. You'll get out of here and you'll do better."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Well for one, I've read your file. I know that this is your first offense. Out of all the crimes out there this really is nothing. It's a juvenile file so it won't count against you in the long run. And for another yes you may have made a mistake and you may have had a hard life but neither of those has to define who you are or who you can become. I mean just look at the difficult choice you've all ready had to make, you chose to keep your baby when you could've easily decided to have an abortion. What made you decide that? What made you decide to overlook all of your anger in place for the child inside of you?"

Emma sighed. "It's not his fault," Emma said. "I couldn't let him pay the price for my screw up."

"So you want to give him a chance."

"Yeah I guess."

"You said 'him' so it's a boy?"

"I don't know. I didn't want to see the ultrasound last week. I just think it's a boy."

Dr. Mitchell smiled, "Well sometimes a mother just knows."

Emma stayed silent for a moment as did Dr. Mitchell. She looked at the clock on the wall.

"I'm sorry Emma, but it seems we're out of time. I want to do these sessions once a week."

"Are you serious?"

"I may have gotten you to open up today but I think there's still a lot we need to work through. I'll schedule a session for the time after your doctor's appointment."

"Fine," Emma said reluctantly agreeing to it.

"Good, I'll see you next week then. Take care of yourself Emma and of your boy. You're in charge of this other life now."

Emma sighed, "Yeah I know. Too many people keep reminding me of that."


	7. Make a Choice

**Chapter 7: Make a Choice**

* * *

Aaron looked at his wife Theresa who in turn looked at Neal. It was a Sunday night and Aaron, by Theresa's urging, had his younger brother over for dinner. Time and time again Neal had declined the offer, being content in staying at a small trailer park. Aaron had even gone as far as offering him the spare bedroom but Neal refused.

No one on site knew that the two were brothers, legally but not by blood and Neal had wanted it that way as he had his entire life.

The name Neal Cassidy had happened by accident having read a book with that name. Neal liked it. It had always been the reason why he stuck with the name Cassidy over taking the Quip last name. He always saw himself as a Cassidy and not as someone else despite the loving family that took him in.

"You haven't touched your plate," she said in a light Mexican accent.

"Sorry," said Neal. "I'm sure it's great."

"Thinking about Emma again," she asked.

Neal looked up and looked accusingly at Aaron.

Aaron shrugged. "She's my wife what do you expect?"

"Nothing less I suppose."

"You should go see her," Aaron said. "They have visiting hours."

"It's not that easy," Neal replied.

"So you've been saying for the past two months since you arrived here. People go in all the time to visit their loved ones in jail. Why can't you?"

"I'm not going to get into this," Neal said starting to get frustrated.

Theresa began to pick up the plates from the table. She placed her free hand on her husband's shoulder. "I'll leave the two of you to talk," she said leaving the room to the kitchen.

* * *

Neal wasn't the only one getting frustrated.

Aaron stood up and walked over. "Are you ever? You've been moping around for months. You're a damn hell of a worker no doubt about that little brother but your mind is always clouded because of this girl. You say that things aren't easy, you say things are complicated but you won't say why."

"Hey I don't have to explain myself to you. I haven't kept in touch for five years and yeah that's partially my fault. I did go off the radar for a while but where do you get off trying to act like an older brother all of a sudden when I have been okay on my own?"

"Damn it Neal, you haven't been okay! If you were you wouldn't be pining for a chick who's incarcerated. If you were okay you'd fucking do something about it so you could stop this pain you're in, you'd go and visit her!"

"Don't you think I want to? Don't you think that every day since I've been here, knowing that she's tucked away in that corrections facility that I want walk in during those visiting hours and just see her, just once. I'd do anything to do that, to hold her hand or touch her face just once more but I can't."

"Why not, what's stopping you Neal?"

Neal took a deep breath and sighed, "I made a promise to someone to steer clear of her. Look it's crazy all right but her life is more important than the life I had planned for us and she can't move forward with me there. I'd be holding her back."

"And what about you little brother, doesn't your life matter? You have to make a choice. You either visit or you walk away. You can't just stay in the shadows waiting for her to do whatever the hell it is you think she had to do on her own and then wait for her to come back to you. Life doesn't work that way."

"Maybe not in your world," Neal said, "It's different in mine, in hers; she just doesn't know it yet."

"Okay I don't know what you're talking about but Neal, you're not really living if you continue your life this way."

"Does it really matter? I broke the day I broke her."


	8. Delicate State

**Chapter 8: Delicate State**

* * *

Neal took off his shades as he walked into the lobby two days later. He had taken a personal day for this so work wasn't an issue.

Neal took a deep breath. He hadn't been in here in a little over two months when he had first checked in to make sure Emma was here.

Loretta looked up from some work on her desk.

"You're back," she said to him.

"You remember me?" Neal asked.

"You're not that hard to forget. You're the only to come in asking for Miss Swan."

"There hasn't been anyone else?"

"Were you expecting someone else?"

"I just thought-," Neal shook his head, "Never mind."

"You going to actually visit this time?"

Neal wanted to. He wanted to wait a while till visiting hours were officially open but he couldn't.

"No afraid not. I just want to hear how she's doing."

"You know it might not be such a bad idea if you actually went and saw your wife Mr.-," Loretta said not knowing what to call him.

"Cassidy. Neal," he said remembering that he had called Emma his wife the first time he inquired on her.

The documents saying that he and Emma were married weren't exactly real but they weren't fake either, in a sense. He had all ready paid the guy off with his first paycheck to make the wedding certificate seem legit.

"Mr. Cassidy. I'm sure she'd be happy to see you."

"Trust me she wouldn't. I just need to know if she's okay."

"She's doing as well can be expected for any woman in her situation."

Neal looked puzzled, "What situation?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Cassidy, its best I not disclose any information. It's probably best if you talk to your wife."

"She doesn't want to see me so tell me, what situation? Did something happen to her?"

Loretta sighed. She knew she was breaking confidentiality but it wasn't really doing so unless confidentiality was actually broken.

"Mr. Cassidy your wife is in a delicate state."

"How delicate," Neal asked.

Loretta just looked at him hoping he would piece together her information so she wouldn't have to break confidentiality anymore than she all ready had. She watched as Neal's eyes widened a moment later.

"I have to go," said Neal.

"Mr. Cassidy, you should really talk to her. It might help the both of you."

"Do me a favor: don't tell her I showed up."

"Mr-," Loretta called out but it was no use Neal was all ready out of the front doors.

* * *

Aaron walked into the house after his long day. Theresa stood up the moment she saw him.

"Hey," he said wrapping her in her arms, "What's wrong?"

"You need to talk to your brother. He showed up a few hours ago but he hasn't said a word."

Aaron sighed. "Where is he?"

"On the outside deck upstairs," she replied.

Aaron placed a kiss on his wife's forehead as he made his way to find his brother.

* * *

The sliding doors opened but Neal didn't turn to look. Reaching for a light switch, Aaron turned on the side light. To say his brother looked like crap was an understatement. He looked destroyed.

"Theresa told me I'd find you out here," Aaron said to him.

"Figured she would," Neal replied as he stood with his hands along the balcony.

"What's going on Neal?"

Neal took in a deep breath and sighed. "She's pregnant."

"What?"

"I went by the corrections facility."

"You saw her?"

"No," Neal replied, "but I asked about her and the guard told me; not directly but enough for me to figure it out."

"Are you even sure the kid is yours?"

Neal glanced over at Aaron. "I did the math, trust me I'm sure."

"What are you going to do?"

Neal pushed himself away from the balcony's edge and walked to the other side on his left. "I don't know. I know she's keeping it. It's too late for an abortion, I looked it up. Not that I'd want her to do that but I don't have a say in anything she decides."

"You would if you just talked to her. Tell her what you want, figure it out together." Neal looked over at Aaron and Aaron put his hands up in defeat. "I know, I know you can't," he said to him. "Though why still baffles me but I guess that's your business."

"Damn right, it is my business." Neal shook his head and raised his voice. "It shouldn't be this way. I should be with Emma. We should be raising our baby together. It's my fault she's going to have the baby in jail. I should never have listened in the first place."

"Then why did you," Aaron asked even though he hadn't had the slightest clue as to what Neal was talking about.

"I was just trying to do right by her. She has a destiny and I can't get in the way of that. Knowing she's pregnant now, it changes everything."

"It doesn't have to."

"What are you talking about?"

"Emma doesn't know you know about her condition right? So leave it that way. I know I told you to make a choice but now that she's pregnant it does change things. Wait at least four more months before you decide on anything. If she decides to raise this baby on her own then you have to stay away from her if that's what you keep deciding but if she doesn't then that kid will end up in the system and so let them handle it."

"No way," Neal said shaking his head.

"Neal listen-,"

"No you listen! Emma grew up in the system. I don't want my kid to go through that."

"You may not have a choice."

"What if I decide to raise him? Can't they track down family members before turning him over to child services?"

"I don't know I guess, maybe. Think this through though Neal. Just give it four months that's it. You don't have to decide on anything right now. Don't make a rash decision. I've known you to do that and it never ends well for you. You've got plenty of time to think about this."

Neal nodded, "Okay you're right," he said only wanting to get his brother off his back.

"So you'll think about it a while?"

"Yeah I will, I promise."

"Good, now cool off a bit and then come downstairs and get something to eat."

Again Neal nodded as he watched his older brother go back inside the house. Neal walked over to the railing and placed his hands. There was no moon out tonight, only a few stars which could barely be seen due to the city lights.

Pregnant.

A father.

No he wasn't a father.

Not yet.


	9. Best Chance, What Does that Mean

**Chapter 9: Best Chance, What Does that Mean?**

* * *

_[3 months later-Emma's 8 months pregnant]_

"Emma," said Dr. Mitchell, "Let's talk about it."

Emma had been silent for the past ten minutes of their session. She had her arms folded across her belly. She wasn't sure how genetics worked on her side of the family or really on Neal's but from the way thing seemed her baby might be as tall as his father.

In the three months since her first session with Dr. Mitchell the denial had started to fade and Emma had become more accepting of her situation. Her child was the only one there to keep the loneliness at bay. Emma was used to being alone, she had been for nearly her entire life but still it was nice to have some company even if said company couldn't talk back.

"No," Emma replied.

"We're going to have to at some point. You're less than a month away from bringing your son into this world. It's time to face that part now. Just three months ago you didn't want to face the fact that you were pregnant and now that the time is almost here you have to face the thought of what you plan to do next. People can give you their opinion left and right but ultimately this decision has to be made by you."

"I can't do it."

"I know it's a hard choice to make believe me I do. I've seen mothers come in here having to make the same ones. I'm going to ask you this though, why can't you make the choice?"

Emma looked down and rubbed her belly.

"What if I make the wrong one," Emma asked. "David deserves a good life, he deserves his best chance but I'm not sure what that means."

"There is no right or wrong choice here Emma."

"That's what makes it so hard."

"You called your boy, 'David'?"

Emma smiled a little. "Yeah," she said, "And I know its stupid- getting attached to him when I don't even know what's going to happen to him. Maybe it means something, I don't know. It just felt right."

"It's a good name," Dr. Mitchell said with a smile. "Strong, just like his mother."

"I doubt that."

"For now; in time you'll see it. There's something special about you Emma, you just don't know it yet."

"Yeah right, do you say that to all your patients?"

"Some but you're not like the others. I don't know call it blind faith or something. So tell me, why is this decision so hard? I want to hear those answers from you."

* * *

Emma did her best to stand up on her own. It didn't do much good so Dr. Mitchell came over and helped. Emma waddled over to the window as she always did when she had something difficult to mention. Looking out the window was easier than looking at Dr. Mitchell when it came to these particular thoughts.

Sighing Emma admitted, "I don't want to be like them. I don't want to just toss my kid away."

"Your parents," Dr. Mitchell said matter of fact.

Emma looked down and cradled her belly. It seemed David was starting to get restless too as he began kicking. Emma winced a little. The boy was strong. With her left hand she rubbed the spot where he had just kicked and her right hand hung beneath, cradling him, protecting him.

"Yeah," said Emma. "I have thought about them for as long as I could remember. What kind of people they were, what kind of reasons they had for throwing me away. I sometimes even have those childhood fantasies." She looked over at Dr. Mitchell, "You know the ones where you think that they're some kind of prince and princess and they live in some magical castle and any moment they'll come and whisk you away."

"Of course."

Emma looked down and then back toward the window, "but then I remember that those are four year old fantasies. There is no magic, no happy ending. I don't want to be like the people who left me on the side of the freeway but I don't know if I can keep David either. I want to but that's being selfish isn't it? I can't give him what he needs. I can barely take care of myself. He deserves better than that at the same time can I really be separated from my son like that even if it probably is best for him?"

Emma smiled to herself slightly as she reached and wiped away some of her own tears. She then turned back to Dr. Mitchell.

"So the situation pretty much sucks."

* * *

**Author's Note**: _At the time of writing this we don't know Charming's true name. James was just the name he took as he replaced King George's son so I decided for the sake of the story that I would leave Charming's "true name", the name Ruth gave him, as David._


	10. Son of a Savior

**Chapter 10: Son of a Savior**

* * *

With a few weeks to go Emma had been moved from her regular cell and into the labor and delivery section of the facility. The room was slightly bigger than her cell and more accommodating.

There were a couple magazines on the counter next to her which she had all ready gone through several times over. There was also a book of Disney collections which held the Disney versions of Aladdin, The Lion King, Pocahontas and those that were more classic stories such as Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White.

Emma hadn't gotten much sleep in the night. David had been kicking up a storm. Though she still had a few weeks till her due date Emma wondered just how anxious the kid was to get out. She wondered if it was starting to get cramped inside.

She propped herself up and looked at her belly. Could a woman really get this huge with just one child? Though Emma had known some of the information on pregnancy on her own, not much about it had been taught to her growing up. It wasn't that easy and most people didn't care one way or another. Some foster homes had at least tried to be civil but for the most part you were just there so the family could get paid. It didn't matter to them what you learned in life or not.

Getting her first period hadn't been exactly easy either. Emma had been freaking out when she got hers and it hadn't been an adult who explained it to her but rather an older girl in the system with her who just brushed it off when Emma mentioned it and sent her on her way by tossing a pad.

This was a completely different field of experience though and despite having come to accept her circumstances Emma still wished, however deep inside that was, that she didn't have to experience it at all or if she had to then anywhere but here.

Emma looked at the book of Disney stories sitting on the table. The problem with those stories was that they were all orphans. Aladdin had grown up on the streets not knowing who his parents were, Simbas' father had died and he had wandered off only to end up with an odd pairing who became his family, Cinderella had a family but one that didn't care, there was never much about Snow White's history in the stories she had become familiar with in her life but Emma imagined that she had a family for a while before they were somehow taken away from her.

But they all got their happy endings, Emma thought.

* * *

Rubbing the spot where David had kept kicking Emma sighed.

"I bet you're ready to get out of there aren't you? I'm ready too. At the same time I'm not. The longer you're in there the longer your mine." A tear began to trace down Emma's cheek. "I can't be selfish for once kid, I have to do right by you. I have to give you your best chance but it's not with me." Emma continued to rub her belly. "Maybe someday you'll understand."

Emma continued on in silence, her tears and sobs the only noise though she tried to silence it.

About ten minutes later her sobbing had calmed down but the tears were still flowing. Damn hormones.

"Good morning momma," Dr. Mendez said with a smile as she came into the room. She saw the sadness and the dried up tears on Emma's face. "Everything okay dear, you're not in pain are you?"

Emma looked up at the ceiling. "No nothing like that."

Dr. Mendez placed a hand on Emma's. "Then what is it?"

Emma looked at her doctor. "I'm giving him up. I'm giving up my baby. Can you take care of that for me?"

Dr. Mendez, "Are you sure this is what you really want?"

Emma looked down and rested her left hand on her bulge. "No but it's not about me is it?" Dr. Mendez squeezed Emma's hand. "And one more thing, I don't want to know where he ends up just make sure he's placed with an actual family. I don't want him to have the kind of life I did."

Dr. Mendez smiled at Emma. "That can be done."

Emma spoke again to her unborn son, "I'm sorry David." Emma took her left hand and brought it to her lips, kissing it and then placed it on her belly.

* * *

_[Two Days Later]_

Myra Hernandez walked into the trailer on site.

"Excuse me," she said to Aaron. "I'm looking for a Neal Cassidy. I was told I could find him here."

Aaron looked up at the woman. "And who are you?"

Myra stuck out her hand, "Myra Hernandez and I'm afraid I can't discuss this matter with anyone but Neal."

Aaron looked at her again but nodded. He stood up and began walking toward the door.

"Give me a second," he said. He opened the door and shouted across the way. "Cassidy, my office now!"

Some of the guys looked at Neal but he shrugged it off as he made his way to his brother's trailer.

"You couldn't wait, I've got some bricks on that cement and if they're not placed right-,"

"The others can handle it, I need you in here."

"What's going on Quip," he asked once he was inside the trailer.

Aaron nodded in Myra's direction.

"Neal Cassidy," she asked.

"Who wants to know?"

She stuck out her hand, "Myra Hernandez, Department of Human Services." Neal shook it. "I was wondering if I might have a word in private."

She looked at Aaron as did Neal.

Aaron placed his hands in his back pockets. "Well alright then, I might as well go get my hands dirty or something."

Neal walked over and took a seat at Aaron's desk the moment he left.

"What can I do for you Miss Hernandez?"

She took a seat across from him. "I'm here about Emma Swan." Neal froze at the sound of her name. "I'm sure you're aware of her condition." Neal just nodded. "Miss Swan has agreed to give up the baby. When a mother decides said choice we usually like to locate family members of the mother and child before the child is placed just so that there's no misunderstanding."

Neal's mind was reeling. So Emma had decided to give up the baby. Neal was beside himself. He thought he'd have more time. For months all he could think about was Emma and their baby but now that a time was coming he would soon have to make a choice of his own. There was only one option, there always had been since the moment he found out Emma was pregnant.

"I'll take the baby," Neal said flat out.

"Mr. Cassidy that's very noble but Miss Swan specifically asked for a closed adoption."

"Then do it. Lie to her or put me as the baby's family in that closed adoption file or whatever you have to do. I want my baby."

"Mr. Cassidy, do you know what you're asking for? Taking on a child is a big responsibility. And even if you could child protective services would have to be the one to take over your case. We can't just hand the child over to you."

"I can take care of him. I've got a job, a descent place to live. I even have a few things that the baby might need."

"You've thought about this a while haven't you?"

Neal shrugged, "I got the stuff just in case. Emma may not be able to take care of the baby but I can. Please, I'm the baby's father. I don't want my kid to have the same kind of life Emma did. I may not have much but I can provide him with a home. The baby should be with part of its family even if it can't be with its mother. Please."

Myra sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

* * *

_[A week and a half later]_

"So you finally decided," said Dr. Mitchell.

"Yeah," Emma said her arms crossed over her belly as they usually were when she was in Dr. Mitchell's office.

"And how are you handling that?"

"Does it really matter? I made my choice."

"You could always decide to reverse it."

"No I can't. I know he's better off without me. I'm no good for him." Emma looked up at the ceiling. "God, I said I didn't want to be like them but I'm doing exactly that. I'm giving away my kid because I can't handle him. What kind of person does that make me?"

"A mother," Dr. Mitchell said simply.

Emma scoffed, "I'm not his mother, I'm just the person about to give birth to him, it doesn't mean anything."

"Oh I don't believe that. If it didn't mean anything you would still be in denial over the whole thing, you wouldn't have named him if you hadn't gotten attached." This time Emma looked at Dr. Mitchell. Dr. Mitchell folded her hands in front of her. "I've known many doctors and other psychologists that work in these types of situations. Most usually tell the inmates to consider themselves as surrogates but I've never believed that. Despite the legalities, you are still his mother. You've taken care of him for nine months, you've kept him healthy, and you've kept him alive. You may not be keeping him but you've all ready done enough by simply bringing him into the world when you could've chosen not to."

Emma thought on the words for a moment. Maybe Dr. Mitchell was right. Soon Emma would no longer have any legal right to David but she was still his mother in some sense. He was made from part of her and nothing could take that kind of bond away. He had shared her body for nine months.

Still nine months was meaningless when you added in a lifetime of uncertainty.

* * *

David began kicking hard. Emma winced as she curved over her stomach. Something felt wrong. Emma could feel a wetness begin to trickle down the seams of her sweat pants. Dr. Mitchell watched for a second as a pile of umbilical fluid made its way to the floor. She immediately walked over to the door.

"I need some help in here!" she called to no one in particular.

Dr. Mitchell then returned and helped Emma to a standing position.

"I'm not due for another week," Emma said as she started to panic.

Dr. Mitchell smiled, "Sometimes nature likes to outwit science, there we go," she said making her way to the door.

"Oh god," Emma screamed, "He's coming, he's coming now."

A team rushed into the office with a gurney.

"I have to get him out," Emma screamed as she was placed on it. Dr. Mitchell continued to hover next to Emma, not leaving her alone.

"You can't do that Miss Swan," said one of the nurses. "You just have to hang in there okay."

Emma's clothes were removed and the nurse looked underneath.

"She's fully dilated," she said to her team. "Let's go." She looked at Emma, "Whatever you do, do not push. We don't want this baby born in the hallway all right?"

"I have to," Emma said trying to squeeze as a mixture of screams came out.

"Emma you need to stop," the nurse said more forcefully as they made their way down the hall.

"Can't you just give me the drugs?"

"It's too late for that."

Emma screamed out in pain.

It only took a few more seconds till they were back in Emma's room. She was moved from the gurney over to her bed.

Dr. Mendez came in and smiled at Emma, "Okay miss Swan you ready to do this?"

"I don't know if I can," she said defeated.

Dr. Mitchell took Emma's hand and squeezed it. "Yes you can Emma," she said to the young girl.

Dr. Mendez looked over and nodded at her colleague as she took a peek beneath the sheet. "Okay Emma I need you to try to relax. On the count of three I want you to give me a big push. One, two, three, push."

Emma arched herself forward and began pushing. She couldn't hold back her screams. She had never screamed that loud before.

"Okay I see the head. You can stop. You're doing good Emma, real good."

Emma relaxed and rested for a moment. Dr. Mitchell patted her head with a wet towel.

"We're going to go again," said Dr. Mendez. "You ready?" she said asking the rhetorical question. "Okay Emma push!"

Emma began to scream as she did her best to push the baby out of her. She didn't know how much longer she could do this.

Dr. Mendez smiled, "He's halfway out," she said. "You can stop for a minute."

Emma rested back. She felt so weak. She didn't know how much longer her body could take this. Women gave birth everyday but that thought brought her no comfort now. As her mind wandered it came to a stop to a place she wished it hadn't.

She imagined this moment but in a different set of circumstances. She imagined Neal's hand holding hers, wiping her brow and whispering notions of platitudes. She imagined screaming not just because she was in so much pain but at him saying that it was his entire fault, saying things like he should've used a condom and him just taking it in stride because those words were meaningless to the pain she currently faced.

She didn't want the hands of shrink, she wanted his. But he was gone and he was never coming back.

A set of new tears streamed down her face. Emma was grateful that her doctor's couldn't understand why; they were probably just thinking it was because of the pain she was in.

"Okay Emma, I need you to give me one final push. Just one more and this will be all over."

Emma sucked in a breath. 'All over,' the words repeated in her mind. At any given second now her son would be free and she would be left alone. More tears.

Screaming the loudest she had since she had first gone into labor, Emma pushed as hard as she could. She didn't want this moment to come but the pain was too unbearable. She had to let this kid live without her even at the expense of her own sadness.

A loud piercing wail echoed in the room.

Emma leaned back knowing it was done. Despite her circumstances, despite everything, Emma had successfully brought her child into the world. The only thing she had been good at, her only success on top of a mountain of constant failures and screw ups.

"David, is he okay?" Emma asked as she propped herself up, Dr. Mitchell holding onto her back just in case.

* * *

A minute later, her son was brought over to her by Dr. Mendez.

"He's perfectly fine. Congratulations Miss Swan, you have a healthy five and a half pound baby boy."

The boy was placed in her arms. Emma couldn't help the smile and the tears that crossed her face.

"Hey kid," was all she said.

Dr. Mendez looked at Emma with a hint of sadness in her eyes. "We'll give you five minutes and then we're going to have to take him."

Emma nodded. Despite the joy she felt in this moment she knew she couldn't let that get the best of her. Her son had to go on without her, it was for the best.

Only a nurse was left in the room with Emma. She was easy to ignore. All Emma could focus on was her beautiful baby boy in her arms. He looked up at her with piercing brown eyes.

"I have to give you your best chance," Emma whispered to him. "You deserve at least that."

Emma took her right index finger and David wrapped his tiny hand over it. Emma smiled as more tears trickled down. She leaned in and placed a kiss on his forehead. He felt so soft.

"I love you David," she whispered to him.

Emma stayed in this moment a minute more until Dr. Mendez returned.

"Miss Swan, it's time."

Emma reluctantly nodded as she gently slipped David into her arms. Emma kept her arms stretched out until her son was no longer in reach.

With no one in the room, Emma turned to her right side and let the tears and wailing come. She didn't bother to stop them. There was no point.

* * *

_[1 Day Later]_

Neal stood by in the waiting area, pacing. Dr. Mendez and Myra Hernandez walked over to him, Myra who was holding a baby in her arms.

"Mr. Cassidy," she said with a smile.

Neal looked up.

"He's yours," she said to him.

Neal's eyes lit up. "It's a boy?"

"Yes sir, a perfectly healthy boy." Myra gently passed the baby off to Neal. "You got him?"

"Yeah I got him." Neal looked down at the baby and smiled. "You look like your mother."

"I think he looks more like you," said Myra.

"He's got my hair at least." Neal looked up at the two women. "And Emma how is she?"

Dr. Mendez answered his question, "She'll get through it."

"And two more months and she's out of here right?"

"You'd have to talk to her corrections officer but yes I believe that's right."

Neal just nodded, "And she won't find out about this, she won't know I was here?"

"No," said Myra. "It's all confidential."

"That's all I can ask for I suppose until the timing is right."

Myra and Dr. Mendez just looked at each other unsure as to what Neal meant by that.

"Does he have a name?" Neal asked.

"She called him 'David'," said Dr. Mendez, "but his legal name, well that's up to you."

Neal smiled, "I like the name David and it's the name Emma gave to him. At least she can be with him in that sense. Something is missing though," Neal contemplated. "He needs a middle name."

"Do you have one in mind," Myra asked.

"Not yet but I'm sure I'll think of something."


	11. David Henry Cassidy

**Chapter 11: David Henry Cassidy**

* * *

It had been a long first half of the day.

Two days before Neal had been informed that Emma had gone into labor. He wanted more than anything to be there with her. He wanted to coach her, help her get through it, be there and witness as their child was born. He didn't care if Emma screamed and cursed the hell out of him or if her nails dug so hard into his hand that she would break his skin. He could take it. Emma was in fact doing the hardest part of all so what was a little pain and cursing compared to the trials of labor? Neal wanted to do everything a new dad should get to experience during child birth but he couldn't.

Emma could never know that he was around, checking up on her. It broke his heart knowing she had to go through it alone. Being surrounded by doctors didn't count as they were just doing their jobs. No friends, no family. He could have been both had August never entered his life and ruined it.

It wasn't completely ruined however; at least Neal would have the baby. He had been informed several hours before finding out about Emma that the child, his child, would be placed in his care. Neal was more than grateful. He could not contemplate the thought of his child being placed in the system or worse, being raised by someone else. At least the two of them would have half of their family, they would be together.

* * *

Neal now looked down to the small bundle he cradled in his left arm as he rummaged through his pocket with his right looking for his keys.

"One more second little guy," he whispered. "It's not much of a home but it beats being in a crib surrounded by strangers."

Neal finally got the door open to his small apartment. He was greeted by both Aaron and Theresa. A banner hung in the kitchen that read 'Welcome Home Baby Cassidy.'

"Boy or girl," Theresa asked as she walked over to her brother-in-law.

Neal smiled, "Boy."

Theresa stretched out her arms, "May I," she asked.

Neal hesitated but he passed his son off to her gently. Aaron hovered over the three of them as Theresa cooed at the infant in her arms.

"You got a name for the little guy," Aaron asked.

"David," Neal replied, "David Henry."

"David Henry Cassidy," Theresa repeated. "It's perfect."

She and Aaron saw the look in Neal's eyes.

"What is it," she asked.

Neal sighed, "Just not sure if Henry should have my last name."

Theresa looked at Neal with sad eyes and then walked to sit with David on the couch. Aaron took his brother off to the side.

* * *

"Don't do this little brother," Aaron said to him.

"Do what," Neal asked knowing full well what he was implying.

"You have to let her go."

Neal looked up sharply at Aaron. "I all ready did that."

"No you haven't. You're pinning for her Neal. It's gotta stop or it will destroy you."

"You don't know what's going on. You don't know the situation I'm in."

"You're right I don't because you're being so cryptic about it. What I do know, what I see, is that you're still in love with a girl that you abandoned which makes no sense. You have to make a choice Neal, you either go be with her or you don't. You can't have it both ways."

Neal watched as Theresa held Henry. In his mind he pictured it being Emma instead. She looked exhausted but still just as beautiful as she held on to their son. No longer was she round and glowing but still in a new way she was even more attractive. What was it about motherhood that made a man feel like he was looking up at a goddess?

Granted Neal had never experienced it directly but in his mind he could imagine it and those moments felt just as real.

Neal's eyes focused on reality.

"I don't expect you to understand," he said to Aaron. "I can't just walk away."

"You're going to destroy yourself. Think about David, he's all ready been separated from his mother. Do you really want his father to be distant from him too?"

"I won't be," Neal said walking away from Aaron effectively ending their conversation.

* * *

Theresa handed Henry over to Neal and walked toward her husband giving the two of them a moment.

Neal smiled at the little boy in his arms. He brought leaned in and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you David Henry," he whispered.


	12. One Step Forward

**Chapter 12: One Step Forward**

* * *

_[2 months later]_

Emma hesitated as she stood in the doorway of Dr. Mitchell's office. She was back in the clothes that she had arrived in eleven months ago. Emma knocked softly and Dr. Mitchell looked up from some paperwork where she sat at her desk.

"Emma," Dr. Mitchell said in surprise.

Emma walked in and Dr. Mitchell walked over meeting her halfway.

"I just wanted to say thanks for…" Emma looked down not being able to bring herself to say the words.

Dr. Mitchell nodded, "You're welcome. So you're being released today."

Emma looked up, "Yeah. It's gonna be weird, back in the real world or whatever."

"You'll get through it."

This time Emma nodded, "I know. I've survived on my own for most of my life."

"So do you know where you're going to go?"

Emma shifted and looked away slightly uncomfortable, "Yeah," was the only one word answer she stated.

"Your ex," Dr. Mitchell said.

Emma's eyes shifted up sharply.

"You haven't talked much about him aside from a few things."

Emma shook her head, "I know it's stupid but I have to find out. Maybe if I could just talk to him-. I don't know. Like I said it's stupid."

"No it's not stupid but do you think you're ready for that conversation?"

"It doesn't really matter. I just think if I can get it then I can move on."

"And if you can't get that closure?"

"I don't know."

"Emma, don't hold onto something that may not be there anymore. You get a fresh start now. Don't let your past hold you back."

Emma gave a sad smile, "The past is all I have. I don't even know half of it. I've been looking for my parents for as long as I could remember but now I have to look for him too."

Dr. Mitchell nodded knowing Emma's mind was made up. "Just be careful and good luck out there Emma. You'll be okay."

"Thanks," Emma said making her way to the door.

* * *

Making her way to the lobby Emma stopped at the counter where Loretta was waiting. There wasn't much to Emma's effects. Loretta slid the car key and keychain to Emma. She hesitated for a moment before taking it.

"Any idea where I can find the car," Emma asked.

"There's an impound lot a quarter mile down the road. Usually inmate vehicles are placed there. I can get a car to drive you."

"Why, because I just had a baby two months ago," Emma said sarcastically. In the past two months Emma had become indifferent to what she had experienced. It was easier that way than allowing herself to think about the child she had given up.

"No," said Emma, "I can walk."

"Alright suit yourself. Good luck Miss Swan."

"Yeah," Emma replied as she made her way to the exit.

Outside she stood for a moment as she let the blazing sun touch her. She had been out during her sentence but this time was different. It actually felt good because for the first time in eleven months she was free.

* * *

The walk ended up doing Emma some good. It was nice to stretch her legs elsewhere other than just at the compound.

When she arrived Emma knocked on the window of the only vertical cubical that stood in front of a long fenced gate.

"Can I help you," a round stubby man asked in his gruff voice.

"Yeah I'm looking for my car," said Emma.

"You got the key?"

Emma pulled the key from her pocket and handed it to him.

"Name?"

"Swan. Emma Swan."

The man looked over his list and then reached for the button which opened the gate.

"Come on back," he said.

Emma followed the man through the lot until they came upon a green tarp. The man took it off and for the first time Emma froze completely. She had not seen the car since shortly before her arrest. It had been one thing to know that the car had become hers, that she had laid eyes on the key but to see her car for the first time brought back a flood of memories, memories which she was between wanting and not.

Emma forced herself to push the thoughts back. If they kept flooding her mind in this way she may never be able to get in the car much less use it. She supposed she could sell it later on but right now she really needed the wheels.

"How much is this gonna cost me," she asked.

The man looked again at his list, "Says here it's all ready been paid for."

"By who?"

"Anonymous donor," he answered. "Just be grateful."

"Right," Emma said.

The man handed the list to Emma. "Sign here."

He then handed over the key, "Car's all yours."

* * *

"I really can't talk you out of this?" Aaron asked as Neal packed one more bag in his car.

Theresa was off to the side holding Henry.

"You've known about this for months," Neal said to him.

"Yeah and I kept thinking you'd come to your senses and would just let go."

"I can't."

"Why not, answer me that question Neal, why!"

"Because I still love her that's why," Neal answered. "I can't be part of her life physically because I can't stand in the way of her destiny but I can't abandon her either even if I'm just on the sidelines."

"And what you're just going to drag Henry along wherever Emma goes, wherever you go? What kind of life is that for him?"

"I'm doing the best I can."

"You could always do better."

Neal placed his hands in his pockets. "Look Aaron, I'm grateful for what you've done, helping me out and everything but it's best if we just go our separate ways now. You don't need a loser brother like me in your life especially one who can't ever be honest with you. You don't know who Emma is who she really is and even if you did you wouldn't believe it. You don't even know who Henry is, his ancestry."

"Yet somehow you do. You believe in whatever story you've concocted to keep yourself away."

"I have to go," Neal said not wanting to continue their conversation. Neal looked over at his sister-in-law. "Theresa, the baby."

Theresa came over with tears in her eyes. "I'm really going to miss this little guy," she said as she handed Henry to Neal.

"Are you even sure she's going to be there," Aaron asked, "at this mystery place of yours."

"She'll be there."

"But how can you be sure?"

Neal smiled, "Because I know Emma."

Neal walked around to the car where the car seat was and placed Henry in it. Neal smiled at the little one.

"Ready to go on your first road trip buddy," he said tickling Henry's stomach. "Yeah you're ready."

Neal got in the driver's side and lowered the window. "I'll see you around," he said to Aaron and Theresa.

"No you won't," Aaron replied.

Neal just nodded and began the ignition, driving away.


	13. Sacrifices

**Chapter 13: Sacrifices**

* * *

_[1 year later]_

Neal looked back to make sure that David Henry was secure in pen as he made his way to answer the door. A look of distain crossed his face as he saw who it was.

"What do you want," Neal asked.

"What no 'good to see you'," August asked.

"You've been AWOL for nearly two years, what are you doing here August?"

"We need to talk."

Neal reluctantly moved out of the way so August could enter. He wasn't about to close the door and talk to August outside leaving Henry alone.

"Okay what do you want to talk about?"

August looked around the apartment and the play pen took hold of his vision.

"That," August said pointing to the pen but more specifically to the child in it. He looked at Neal. "He's Emma's kid isn't he?"

"Like you didn't know?"

"I did know."

"What was I supposed to do," Neal asked, "Just abandon her all together? Leave my son to be raised by someone else."

"That's usually the idea behind the foster system yeah."

"And looked how well it worked out for Emma! I wasn't going to put my son through that, not when he still had some family around."

"I told you to stay away from her."

"I have been."

"Really then why is it you're conveniently living here in Tallahassee when Emma lives only ten blocks away?" Neal remained silent. "You being part of her life like this, it's not good for her, it's not good for you and it sure as hell is not good for the kid."

"I'm not part of her life. I keep my distance. I just want to make sure she's okay."

"And I told you she would be."

"Yeah two years ago and where have you been? You promised me you'd look out for her but you haven't have you?"

"I got sidetracked."

"Sure you did. Did you even give her the money?" August looked at Neal. "What, you didn't think I'd find out? I've seen how Emma's been living. She's gotten things together but not in the way she could have had you done what I asked. For her guardian angel you continue to do a crap job of that."

"Stay away from her Neal."

"I can't do that."

"God, you are just as stubborn as she is, aren't you?"

"I promise I won't interfere with her life but I won't stop looking after her."

"And what will happen if you get caught and she sees you or worse, she sees the kid?"

"He has a name you know, it's Henry. David Henry and she won't catch me."

"I'm telling you now you need to back off. Emma's a natural when it comes to tracking, it's in her blood, and listen to me when I tell you she will find you. Right now just by being here you're making it easy for her."

"You really just expect me to walk away?"

"You have before."

"Yeah to give her the space she needed. The space you wanted from me."

"It's not enough."

"Have you even bothered to consider why I'm sticking around, why I follow Emma?"

August backed away and raised his hands up, "I don't know, stalker tendencies maybe?"

Neal walked over to the pen and picked up his son. "It's because of Henry. He may not know his mother but I do. It's my way of keeping the two of them close."

"We all have to make sacrifices Neal. The kid is no exception."

"And what do I tell him when he's old enough and Emma still hasn't broken the curse?"

"That's up to you. Really think about this Neal. If you keep this up and Henry is old enough what will you tell him when he asks why you're watching Emma? The kid needs something stable and you following Emma wherever she goes is not good for him. Even if you tell him the truth, that you're watching his mother he's gonna ask why you can't go over and say hi. Don't make things any more complicated than they all ready are.

You know I'm right. It's time to stop being selfish Neal and time to really be a father to your son. Emma gave him up so he can have his best chance. What you're doing, this isn't it."

Neal looked down at Henry. He wasn't a big fan of August. If it wasn't for him his life wouldn't have turned out the way it did. He would've been happy with Emma. The three of them could've been a family, the two of them raising their boy together. He wanted Emma to break the curse so badly but by the looks of things she still didn't even know about it. How could she complete her task when she didn't even know where her life was headed? No one did sure but Emma was different.

The only thing Neal could do was have hope that because she had a destiny that Emma would end up there regardless of how she arrived or how long it too.

"Just give me one more night all right," Neal asked quietly of August. "We'll leave tomorrow."

"You sure, you're not going to show up at Emma's next stop are you?"

"Not this time." Neal looked at August. "This really sucks you know?"

August nodded, "I know. You'll see Emma again though and she'll be reunited with you and her son."

"She's going to miss so much. She all ready has. You know he said his first word about a month ago, it was 'mama'. Go figure hu?"


	14. Let Go of Me, Tallahassee

**Chapter 14: Let Go of Me, Tallahassee**

* * *

The sand beneath her toes was mushy as Emma walked barefoot along the beach. The sun was beginning its descent on the horizon. She found a log and walked toward it, sitting in front. She watched as her toes buried beneath the sand. It was slightly cold but that didn't faze her.

Sighing Emma held the swan keychain which she had since turned into a necklace. It had been a year of living in Tallahassee. Emma had hoped that after she had gotten out of the prison in Phoenix that she would come here and find Neal, waiting. It was a ridiculous notion and sometimes she wondered if she even wanted to see him again considering the hell he had put her through yet she was still here.

In her last few weeks at the corrections facility Emma had begun to think about life on the outside. She talked with Dr. Mitchell about it. There wasn't much out there that fit her interest until Dr. Mitchell had suggested becoming a bail bonds person. It was a descent living and it worked in finding people which Emma had always been a natural at.

Upon arriving to Florida that was the first thing Emma looked into. It took at least four months to get her license. Though her predicament was anything but normal, she was at least grateful that her criminal record had been a juvenile one so it was legally sealed by court order.

Emma sat as she watched the sun dip along the horizon. The tide was beginning to make its' way in but nothing that required Emma to move from her desired spot.

She thought about David. Her heart ached for the little boy who had once shared her body. She knew she had done the right thing by giving him up but there were days like today, when the world felt more lonely than usual, that she yearned for him. She could still feel the smoothness of his body as Dr. Mendez placed him in her arms.

Emma thought about what he looked like. The moment she saw him she saw that he clearly resembled his father but there were some traits of her in him as well. Emma wondered what traits he got from his biological grandparents. It was ridiculous to think of it considering her anger toward them and considering the fact she had no idea who they were.

David's adoption had been a closed one but she couldn't bring herself to stop from thinking about him from time to time. Maybe down the road it would get easier. Maybe there would come a time when she could deny ever having a child but that day wasn't today.

She thought about what his first word would be. She hoped that the family he was with loved him. She hoped it was a better life than she could've given him.

Maybe someday- no Emma said to herself stopping her thought. There would never be a someday. David was gone just like Neal. Neither of them was coming back, neither of them would be seen again. The sooner she accepted that the easier it would be.

One more year she thought. One more year in Tallahassee and if she did not find Neal then she would move on. And given her new job as a bail bonds person leaving wasn't quite as easily. She had to stick out the job at least a year and then maybe she could move on and become a bail bond person elsewhere in the country but for now this is where she needed to be even if he wasn't here.

* * *

Neal sighed as he sat in his car with Henry in his arms. For twenty minutes he sat ideally by as he watched Emma on the beach.

He wanted to be with her more than anything. In his thoughts whenever he saw her like this he always imagined going up to her. She would always be angry but the moment she saw that the child he held in his arms was theirs the spark that he once saw in her would return and they could move on, start over.

Emma could be angry with him all she wanted but it wouldn't matter. She could never be as angry at him as he was himself. He had been convinced that what August told him was real, that the curse was real. He knew Emma's purpose and he hated himself more than anything for leaving her but it had to be the only way.

Time and time again he ran over scenarios about what would've happened had he met Emma like he had planned. He would've told her everything. His encounter with August, how he believed in her and how she had a destiny. The two of them would get there together. She would then stop him, not believing any of it. She would tell him she was pregnant but their life wouldn't stop him. Neal would get Emma to where she needed to be whether she believed him or not. He believed in the curse and he believed in her.

A thousand what if scenarios and none that mattered. This was their life now. He had to leave. He had to let her go on without him even if he had just been a shadow in her life the past year and a half.

"Okay buddy," Neal said to Henry. "It's time to say goodbye to Tallahassee now. Can you say 'bye, bye'?"

Henry looked up at his daddy. "Mama," said Henry.

"Yeah Henry, bye, bye mama," Neal said sadly.

Neal gently got out of the car and walked around to place Henry in his rear facing car seat.

"Mama," the boy repeated.

* * *

Emma watched as she saw a man emerge from a car with an infant in his arms. Her heart began to ache again. It was getting dark so all she could see of him was a silhouette. Still it was a silhouette that brought a pain of sadness as she thought about what could've been. She could imagine Neal excited over finding out she was pregnant. He would've made a good dad, of that she was certain.

She imagined Neal looking like the man she was watching, just him and his child as she watched from a distance, admiring the moment and seeing Neal with their son.

The car began to roll away and Emma wiped away some tears that were starting to make their way down her cheek.

The sun had gone down. It was time to call it a night.

* * *

**~END~**

_(for now)_

**Author's Note**: _Tell me, should I continue this story?_


	15. The Story Continues In

If you enjoyed this story, follow their journey in part 2:

**_Till Kingdom Come_**


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